After reading the metro article, ‘Daddy daughter dates are everything that is wrong with the world’ written yesterday, I went to write a comment on the thread and realised that what I wanted to say was a little long for a Facebook comment so I thought I’d do this instead. The article is about a Facebook post by Caitlin Fladager, who posted:
“My husband decided once a month he will take our little girl out on a “date” where she gets all dressed up and gets taken out for cake and ice cream. Tonight was there first night doing it. He helped her pick out a dress for her to wear, got a little purse ready for her, held the door open for her, and made her feel like a princess. She loved it and was so happy when she got home. She will always know how she deserves to be treated because her dad sets such a high example.”
According to the author of the newspaper article, not only is this creepy but its also apparently the ONLY TIME this man spends with his daughter. Or at least that’s the impression given in the article. So lets make some assumptions of our own.
This man is a good parent and a good dad.
How can I say this? Well in the same way that the article in the Metro has laser focused on this one event in this families calendar and apparently assumed nothing else exists, I’m going to reverse my focus and assume the following…
This dad is a good dad!
But what makes me say this? Well, if he has stepped up in his parenting to do this monthly date, then surely he is involved in other parenting duties. It would be strange for this to be his only piece of ‘parenting’ for the month! As an example and I’m using myself for this. I take my daughter on adventures (which could be dubbed as ‘dates’) at least once a month too.
Now I can only assume that the Metros author would write a wonderful opinion piece about how I’m a rubbish dad for not only acknowledging the existence of my offspring once every full moon, but then also for dragging her off into the wilds of Borneo to live like a wolf, only to expect my poor wife to re-civilise the child on my triumphant return.
What’s not written in that sentence is this. I’m a stay at home dad, we do lots of things together and I take care of my daughter every day. How the author can make such assumptions about this dad is beyond me. And wrong.
I spend time on my knees mopping up all manner of things and am fully immersed in raising my daughter.
Now lets address this ‘creepy’ aspect
Firstly the author says we shouldn’t use “the language of an adult sexual relationship” referring to the word date.
So all dates lead to… you know!
Well that’s not what I want to teach my child for a start! Not all dates end in sexual relationships.
No, dating is something you do BEFORE and I want to teach my daughter that when dating, there are ways she should expect to be treated. Which is exactly what this father is doing. I’m sure that this will be far more beneficial in that little girls future than if her first experience of ‘dating’ is some pubescent lad who hasn’t been taught how to date either.
I’d even go as far as saying that it’s us parents’ responsibility to teach our children how they should date, how they should be treated and how they should respect themselves and others. If the parents don’t teach them then who will?
Yeah that’ll work out just fine…
So I think all parents should do what Caitlin’s husband does; teaching his daughter about respectful relationships.
How can that possibly be creepy?