Where does time go?
I remember like it was just an hour ago, the first time we saw Ted on a scan in the sonographer’s room. Firstly, I was overwhelmed with a sense of relief, after having a previous miscarriage, but secondly, I was struck by his tiny arms & legs.
In fact, it looked like he had T-Rex arms & hands; so it was for this reason that we nicknamed ‘the bump,’ Rex. Rex was our go to name for the following few months, and even for the first few days when we couldn’t decide on a name, we called him Rex. It was a natural decision to, therefore, include it in his full name, once we’d chosen Ted.
Ted Rex Hugh Ferguson
During the pregnancy, I wanted to speak to Rex. I’d heard that it was a good thing to do for a number of reasons, but there was 1 hurdle I kept stumbling on; I felt a bit self-conscious and didn’t know what to say. I felt conscious that Jen was sitting there watching whilst I spoke to something I couldn’t see, touch, hear or feel. None the less, I ploughed on, because I knew the health, emotional & developmental benefits, and created some strategies t.o overcome my initial hesitancies.
The main reason I felt a bit silly was that I didn’t know what to say. Finding the words to talk to something that hasn’t even registered as ‘real’ yet, is pretty hard going. But reading a story gives you the words to say. Such a helpful tool. In fact, Danone’s Aptaclub has created a fabulous campaign called, ‘Small Stories’ and it’s designed to do exactly what I’m talking about. It gives fathers (& mums) the words to say to their ‘bump’ during pregnancy.
They’re promoting this concept of making sure parents talk to the bump right from the word go by creating some personalised ‘small stories,’ written & illustrated by multi award-winning illustrator, Viviane Schwarz. They sent one for Ted:
Having a set of words to say like this is so helpful. And they’re lovely words at that.
I have a really close & special bond with Ted and I can’t help but feel that all of those occasions when I read to him in the womb, have added up to help cultivate the relationship I have with him today.
Danone, are in fact, giving you the chance to win your very own personalised ‘small story’ from Viviane Schwarz. All you have to do is head over to their Facebook page for all the details.
I can hold a tune. Just. But wouldn’t ever describe myself as ‘able to sing.’ That being said, when I hear a spot of Bon Jovi, I’m overwhelmed with the urge to let my voice reign out over the neighbourhood.
You don’t need to be a good singer, because similarly to reading, songs give you the words to say (sing). Nursery rhymes, riddles, pop songs, Beatles classics… it really doesn’t matter. Choose a song and start singing.
This is more about distraction than anything else. If you’re gently massaging your partner’s bump (after researching how), then you won’t be thinking about what you’re saying. And if you’re not focused on what you’re saying, you won’t have that same feeling of self-consciousness!
The thing is, talking to your bump is crucial for development and emotional connection. And for dads, as we don’t carry the baby, connecting on that emotional level, during pregnancy at least, is much harder. So whatever you do, talk to your bump.